If you know me, you know my birthday is THE BIGGEST DEAL! And if you didn’t know that, no worries, now you do!😬 I love to celebrate me (it really is the truth). For many years I celebrated a birthday week but since I had kids, I made it a priority to celebrate myself THE WHOLE DAMN MONTH. And since doing this, I have started to celebrate myself more on a regular basis. It's amazing and has really changed the way I treat myself all year round. I am much kinder and gentler to myself and I am more appreciative and proud of the things I do (especially when I say no to things!).
Now, I know some of you may not be big on celebrating your birthday, and there's no judgment there. Also, I'm not saying you have to have kids or wait until you have kids in order to celebrate your birthday week or month. All of my work is centered on supporting you as you prioritize your personal care, which includes celebrating yourself EVERY FREAKIN' DAY, and THAT is something I want you to get more comfortable and consistent with this month.
So, this month, in honor of my birthday (which happens to be an extra biggie this year!), here's my tip/invitation/challenge (whichever term speaks to you better):
Celebrate YOU daily.
Yes, you read that correctly. And yes, I am serious.
While I’m not a mind reader, I imagine this news may be met with some varied responses: excitement, eye-rolling, nervous laugh, annoyed laugh, some version of “yeah right”, etc. And if you’re not feeling too keen, you probably have some valid reasons: feeling tired, overwhelmed, and numb, to name a few. And I am definitely not losing sight over the weight you may be feeling of the pandemic or the effects of recovering from Covid yourself.
I am a firm believer that we have to reach for the light in the midst of darkness, just like your favorite house plant. We have to keep reaching for hope. We thrive on the good and we need to pull more of it into our lives especially when it’s hard. Our brains tend to focus on the negative, so we have to be extra vigilant of calling out the good things, especially about ourselves, our accomplishments, and how we’re taking up space in the world.
Quick check in: what’s dominated your thoughts today? All the things you did and did well? Or all the things you haven’t done, forgotten, or messed up (along with allll of your feelings about yourself and why)?
The brain can often run away with negativity and feeling overwhelmed. So, I am inviting/challenging you (whichever feels better) to mindfully flip the script on your thoughts and behaviors. Celebrate you daily. It may be hard at first, but I encourage you to stick with it.
Here’s the plan:
This weekend: set aside pad of sticky notes, a notebook, or a piece of paper that is blank on one side (could be junk mail!) or make a place in your planner.
Yes, you can use your phone but I REALLY like pen to paper for reflections. There is something more intentional and grounding about the experience.
Starting on Feb 1st: every day or as often as you can, write down one thing you're celebrating ABOUT YOU.
It could be something you did or didn't do, how you felt or what you didn't feel, etc, the big and especially “small” things.
I am really serious about the "small" things: getting out of bed, drinking water, having a nutritious meal, etc. They are big and impactful! Do not discount them.
Rest and all the ways you said "no thank you", "not today" or "hell no!" should also be documented!
You can add a why or leave it simply as is.
Place the paper somewhere safe and accessible: put the sticky note on your wall or mirror, keep the notebook open where you can always see what you've written (if that's not comfortable, keep it closed), tear off the piece of paper and place it in a jar/box/container.
To help you remember to do this daily, leave a reminder note beside your bed or in the bathroom!
If you miss a day (or a bunch), you can catch up or not! There's no judgment or feeling guilty here! And there’s definitely NO FAILING! Part of creating new habits and also developing mindfulness is getting back on track no matter how many times you get lost and treating yourself gently along the way.
At the end of every week: reflect on what you wrote the last 7 days.
Sit quietly while allowing the experience and feelings wash over you and soak in.
At the end of the month, take some time to reflect on all you documented and this practice!
I know, I know. If you’ve gotten this far in the article, you may be feeling like this is another thing for your to-do list. If so, I encourage you to change the narrative. And here’s why:
The practice of celebrating yourself and your small wins is essential for maintaining your self-confidence, validating your self-worth, creating boundaries, and taking good care of yourself.
It is one of the most important things you can do for yourself. Yes, even when you don't feel like it, or when your day was sh*t, and yes even after 2 years while you're deep into pandemic fatigue.
Here are a few tips any time you want to push this off remind yourself (silently or say out loud):
"My small achievements matter big time."
“I matter”
“I deserve to be celebrated”
“I am doing this for Steff/Steff made me do it” (I am not above this type of coercion!😆However, if that doesn't feel good to you, of course leave it!)
And in case this is uncomfortable for you, that's ok (great, even!), a note of comfort is that at least it's happening during the shortest month of the year AND it's not a leap year!😂
I am going to check back in at the end of the month and I’d love to hear how this went! And feel free to check in along the way! Big love to you, my friends.
