Go Beyond Gratitude This November with These 4 Practices
With the start of November, I often hear two main themes for the month:
Gratitude: being purposeful in acknowledging the blessings in your life (usually in connection with the US Thanksgiving holiday) and
NOvember: a practice of saying no more often to create better boundaries.
Both gratitude and saying no are wonderful and much-needed practices throughout the year.
This month, I am going to invite you (or challenge you - whichever word feels more aligned) to go deeper into your awareness with an offering of 4 practices to consider, explore, and embody as you wish, as they are deeply connected to one another:
Grace
Compassion
LovingKindness
(Each especially towards yourself and in service of those who are less advantaged and less resourced than you.)
And for those of you in the United States - consider ways to decolonize your Thanksgiving
Have I piqued your interest? Awesome. Read on, my friend!
GRACE
The practice of grace is remembering no one is perfect (and perfection is a construct of capitalism and white supremacy). I heard this recently and LOVED it: you are a human BECOMING. Offer yourself permission to forgive yourself (and others) when mistakes are made, lapses in judgment happen, harm is caused, or expectations are not met. We are not machines or robots and this is all part of the process of humaning.
Consider: How can you offer grace in the face of criticism, misunderstanding, or hardship?
COMPASSION
Compassion is the practice of being kind, gentle, and tender towards yourself and others, especially in the moments where grace is needed. It is empathy in action and you are deserving of this - always. The act of compassion may feel uncomfortable or unnatural and may take some real effort. That is ok because in many circles and stages of life, we’re taught that gentle and tender, and even kindness, are weak and lacking in power. I disagree. There is HUGE power, strength, understanding, and connection in compassion. It’s definitely a skill worth developing.
Consider: How can you act with more compassion instead of harshness, othering, or pushing with brute force?
LOVINGKINDESS
LovingKindness Meditation is a practice that cultivates your natural capacity for compassion and connection to yourself and to others.
It is a meditation that creates a one-pointed focus (dharana), which helps the mind to quiet and slow all of its loud and fast-moving thoughts. This practice is commonly utilized to soften feelings of anger and begin the healing process for hurt or grief.
Through a series of recited phrases, the meditation guides you to receive LovingKindness, share it with others, and connect to it as a collective. Developing this type of compassion helps you to be less reactive and release judgment of yourself and those around you. It is also supportive as you navigate different emotions, especially ones that seem to be the opposite of one another like sorrow and happiness, happening at the same time. It helps you to welcome some light into the darkness and clarity in your awareness but does not push you to ignore the hard stuff.
LovingKindness Meditation
May you be safe and free from inner and outer harm.
May you be happy.
May you be healthy.
May you live and work with ease.
May I be safe and free from inner and outer harm.
May I be happy.
May I be healthy.
May I live and work with ease.
May we be safe and free from inner and outer harm.
May we be happy.
May we be healthy.
May we live and work with ease.
(Repeat 2 more times then sit quietly for a little while.)
The LovingKindness Meditation can be a process of building a bridge between judging others, dealing with difficult people, demonizing behavior (unless it’s abhorrent or harmful and not a misunderstanding) and humanizing them. It also helps us to hold ourselves in love as we uncover our learned biases, become aware of the privileges we hold and move through the shame/guilt for the ways we’ve moved through the world without understanding the impact of our actions or harm we may have unknowingly caused to those who hold identities more marginalized than our own.
An invitation to deepen and embody your practice:
This month, I invite you to live in awareness of grace and compassion, noticing when you are being unkind, judging, dismissive, or not honoring yourself/someone else. And, here are some options for embodying LovingKindness throughout the day:
Wake up:
Practice the LovingKindness meditation.
Choose an area of focus from the meditation for your day to hold in your heart.
Mid Day:
Repeat the part of the meditation you are focusing on, especially when stressed/frustrated/sad.
Evening:
Repeat the part of the meditation you are focusing on, especially when stressed/frustrated/sad.
Before Bed:
Practice the LovingKindness meditation.
Write down 3 people/groups/or strangers you're sending LovingKindness to.
Consider: How might you begin embodying LovingKindness in your day?
DECOLONIZE YOUR THANKSGIVING
When it comes to decolonizing your Thanksgiving, consider:
Honoring the true history of this holiday, the native peoples, and colonization - and educating your family, even the little ones
Learning about the ancestral peoples on whose land you live
Supporting the descendants who still live in the area
Acknowledging how your blessings are related to your proximity to power and privilege in the identities you hold
Changing your traditions or including actions/ceremonies that connect to and honor the land you live on
